Erin Misenar

We are in the season of kids and teens and tweens and it is so hard when life is disappointing. There could be a million reason why your kids are upset. Some more valid than others. Kids have emotions that are real and seem so drastic at times, but I have seen more than enough disappointment. Being a single mom, I have found that I need to step up and engage with my kids and at times, I need to let them go. These kids are strong and resilient but some times, life is rough. We’ve seen some unexpected disappointments – like watching a friend get a traumatic brain injury and never be the same again. However, having a boy ask out your friend that you had thought liked you since he asked you out the week prior – well, things just hurt. Kids see now on social media that their friends are doing things and that they are left out. Some by choice, but other times on purpose. I don’t really categorize that as bullying – but it is a display of what people are doing that is all over – and kids have feelings. Even as a mom, if I see a bunch of people I know at a party, and I wasn’t invited, my feelings are hurt. Sure – it’s easy to say – I probably wouldn’t have gone – but it hard when you see images of people having fun and you are not even a second thought. I have heard rumors about me that were not true – and my kids have heard rumors about themselves that are not true. What do you do during these times???

1. Know the truth. Know your truth. If people are talking about you or someone you love – know and remember the truth. I tell my kids all the time that the only person you can control is yourself.

2. Feel your feelings. It is find and perfectly acceptable to be sad and confused at times. Feel all your feelings and work through them. If you need to talk to someone about it – do that. If you want to journal or write them down and then burn them – do that. Just don’t bottle up everything and ignore them. I used to have my kids hit a pillow if they were mad about things they couldn’t control. It seems to help.

3. Exercise. Get out side and get some fresh air. Disconnect from any electronic devices and go outside. Walk the dog if you have a dog – or borrow a pet. Better yet – go and volunteer at your local animal shelter – it is a great way to think about something else.

4. Distract yourself into knowing that time changes everything. Things happen and time keeps moving on. Forgive yourself of your involvement of the situation and move on. Keep moving on is so important.

5. Be grateful. Thank everything for the lessons learned. Thank your friends that you do have and trust them. Thank all around you for simple things. Compliment your friends and yourself. Remind yourself what you like about you.

6. Be yourself. The best things we have to offer the world is being ourselves. So, remind your kids that the world needs them and loves them as who they are right now. And we are all ok and better together.
Hugs. Give your kids lots of hugs.

Do you ever get into a funk or just feel down and can’t get yourself out of yourself? I do. I try to think positive thoughts – and get uplifted. I used to watch Criminal Minds – but that just opened up another trap portal to thinking the worst about people – so I wouldn’t advise that. However, I have found a few awesome songs that help me turn my mood around. You can dance to these songs too and that helps. So, I have found Spotify – yes, my 17 year old has a membership – but it is free as well. On spotify you can make a playlist or look up others playlists and jam out. Think of your favorite songs that make you smile or get you in a good mood. Search for those first. I found the song Level Up by Ciara if super fun. I also found Woman by Kesha. This has some lyrics that your young kids might not want to listen to – or you might not want them to listen to, but they are fun. You can set this up on a music list on your phone and there are several other apps you can use to make a playlist – but I like spotify for the moment. Yes, you listen to an advertisement first, but then you play and make it happen. So, go ahead and enjoy. See if that gets you in a good mood – or if all else fails – get outside or go to youtube and play some Fitness Marshall – he is sure to put you in a good mood. Enjoy!!!

Journaling.
Journaling is very important to get yourself clear in so many ways. Journaling is good for your mind and
particularly your mental health. It can help you harness your creativity. When you are journaling, you can see your growth of where you were to where you want to go. Journaling can let you realize your values and goals. Journaling with help you understand about yourself more and help with your personal growth.

If you are starting out – here are several good prompts to get you started journaling.

1. What will be your impact 100 years from now?
2. What would you tell your 13 year old self?
3. What do you see yourself doing/ being in 10 years?
4. What is the most fun you have ever had? Take yourself to that place.
5. What is the best vacation you have had or what is the best vacation you could envision?
6. What do you like in a person that you are romantic with?
7. What causes me the most stress and how can I improve that situation?
8. What are the core values you have in life? Why?
9. If you could describe the best day, what would in consist of?
10. What is a goal you want and didn’t go for and why? What would life look like if you were not scared?

Good luck with your journaling. Put a timer on for 10 minutes and let your mind wander and go. Ask the spirit to take you where it will. Enjoy the process and get to know yourself better.

Today I am going to talk about your mindset.  A positive mindset is what you should thrive for.  A negative mindset can harm you – so the important thing is to try to change your mindset for the better.

With mindset, comes equally gratitude.  I know, Oprah tells us to be grateful for everything we have. She is right.  When you are having a bad day, remember what you have to be grateful for.  I remember thinking I know that when I was going through a horrible divorce that women still would want what I had.  I had to remain grateful for all of it.  Lessons can be learned from everything in life.  Look on the bright side.

Every night, you should ask for what you want clarification on and list about 5 things you are grateful for and in the morning, wake up with a positive attitude.  It doesn’t matter what you are going through.

I still think – Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

Remain positive.  Get yourself to listen to a good song or songs if you are negative.  Jump around. Dance around.  Get out of a funk if needed.

Positivity breeds more positivity.  Be the kind of person you would want to meet.

Go out and smile!!!