I have been divorced for a few years now. The holidays are not easy when children are involved. The time alone can be deafening and sad. However, I have been through this and survived a few times, and here’s what I advise to help you through it.
Make New Memories
Plan some new traditions with your children when you have them. Make your own ornaments – bake a new kind of cookie – build that gingerbread house – Find a family to adopt and help this holiday. You can come up with so many good ideas. The first year I took the kids to the dollar store and we got some candy – and drove around to look at lights – we had sticky notes and wrote on the candy – “We loved your lights – thank you – you get first place” and we awarded winners for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place. They had tons of fun with this.
Hug Your Kids
I also found that writing letters to the kids go far. If you don’t have the funds for them this holiday – write them a letter about all the things you love about them. Tell them how special they are. These letters will be treasured longer than any gift.
When you have no kids with you, be sure to be extra kind to yourself. If you don’t want to be alone – make sure you tell others. I spent too much time alone in the past and it is so sad. I should have asked friends if I could join them – but I was afraid to intrude on their family time. Take care of yourself.
Watch the Fun Holiday Movies
The Hallmark Channel can be your best friend. Or Elf. Or any new Netflix movie out there. Enjoy…
Here’s hoping that this holiday season goes quickly and is not too sad. Divorce sucks enough juggling children and trying to figure out gifts for everyone. Try to communicate with your ex spouse on gifts if you can muster it – and think of the kids in mind. Make sure all your intentions are based on love of your children and lead with that. Be the better person. I hope the holiday spirit can help the sadness. It is ok to be sad – you are mourning the holidays that you once loved – and that is alright. However, move forward with a new spirit and you will teach your children more than you know.